2020 TBR: April Edition

March lasted two-hundred years, but we are finally in April and with a new month comes a new beginning for those who need it. I know I do after the insanity of March.

So for April, I’ve got another short-stack TBR of a all different genres that I’m looking forward to.

Pastel Vintage Bike Facebook Cover

I’m also hoping to finish reading The Last Wish by Andrzej Sapkowski and get through some ARCs I’ve got from NetGalley, so we’ll see how much I’m able to get through!

What are you hoping to read this month?

A Different Kind of Wrap-Up

March 2020 has been a rough one for all of us. The isolation required has left some of us productive, some of us stir-crazy, and some of us struggling with major depression and anxiety. If you’re like me, you’re all of the above.

I had big plans for March, but have not successfully managed to get to them all for a number of reasons. I had another cold in the middle of the month that knocked me flat, and then the anxiety of COVID-19 took a major hold on me. My day job in customer service set me on edge and I was having a hard enough time holding it together enough to function let alone get reading or writing done.

However, I still read a decent number of books towards the beginning of the month and I am very pleased about that, even if it still means I didn’t read all of my TBR books.

There was only one book I marked as DNF and it was Cries from the Lost Island by Kathleen O’Neal Gear. It was so boring and stiff that I just couldn’t make myself read it. It was an eARC from NetGalley and I thank the publishing company for sending it to me, even if it definitely wasn’t my cup of tea.

While I haven’t finished it yet, I’ve been making slow and steady progress through The Last Wish by Andrzej Sapkowski, the “first” book in his famous Witcher series. In all honesty, I have done my best to take deep breaths and focus on reading, a lot of my time has been spent playing Animal Crossing New Horizons. I’ve been a huge fan of the Animal Crossing franchise since I was about 8 or 9 and the new game has been a huge help at being a distraction from the rest of the world (as I’m sure the majority of you are aware).

Given the pandemic, I’m currently out of work so I am hoping to spend the provincial quarantine reading and doing more articles for this blog as well as maybe some short stories. I have tried in the past to post shorts here but have not had much success in people reading them, so we’ll see about that.

I know everyone is getting annoyed with hearing this but I do sincerely hope that everyone is staying safe in these uncertain times.

Take care of yourselves.

REVIEW: The Memory Police

Completely out of character for me, I read yet another dystopian novel this month and while I enjoyed it enough, it was definitely an unsettling story.

Ogawa Yoko’s latest novel, The Memory Police, is about a small, unnamed island that is controlled by a strange regime from nowhere called the Memory Police. The police control what is and isn’t allowed the exist on the island, meaning when something has been “disappeared” not only does the thing itself vanish from the island but all memories and emotional attaches to said thing vanish too. Anyone who is capable of remembering what has vanished is taken away by the police, and as more and more things begin to disappear, the nameless narrator struggles with a terrifying thought: what if things never stop disappearing?

This novel takes it’s time, the slow and easy pace really making you feel like things are okay. It is very much a false sense of security that shows how oppressive and yet normalized high-surveillance states are – everyone on the island is nervous around the Memory Police, but everyone also has a firm “I’m not doing anything wrong, so there is nothing to worry about” mentality. The concept of things just vanishing is also terrifying. It isn’t just little things, but it includes food and animals as well. As the story progresses and the stakes rise while our narrator is hiding her friend, R, the horrific concept really gets dark: what if words disappear? The censorship in media that’s heavily implied through that idea is horrifying and I love how intense the metaphor is.

Much like some of my favourite Japanese horror films, this book is quiet until the last few chapters when everything is happening to an overwhelming degree. It’s an ending that can’t be described without huge spoilers, but it gets really twisted really quickly. I got very uncomfortable and finishing it was a struggle but I do plan on re-reading it when the world isn’t entirely on fire. Do I recommend reading this book? Absolutely. But maybe wait a few months.

MANGA MONDAY: Boku no Hero Academia #1

Today is a special Manga Monday. Why? BECAUSE ALL-MIGHT IS HERE!

That’s right, today we’re talking about the first volume of Boku no Hero Academia – aka. My Hero Academia. I’ll say now that I started watching season one when it first came out so it’s force of habit to refer to this series as BNHA rather that MHA, but despite being familiar with the show (ps. I’m not caught up though) I’ve never actually read the manga so I was really excited to finally get to it.

Over the last few years, I’ve become so incredibly bored by superhero content. It used to be fun and different and now it’s just “white male rage” or a three hour trailer for the next three hour trailer in a long line of Disney over saturation. This is why it took my old roommate forcing me to watch BNHA with her to actually get me to watch it. And wow did I sob almost every episode because of Deku.

The first volume of the manga covers the first two or three episodes of the show (give or take) and the adaptation is pretty faithful. Midoriya Izuku is a powerless student in a world full of those with powers, yet he still wants nothing more than to be the kind of hero that saves people with a smile. After meeting his personal hero, All-Might, Izuku has that chance at last and he gets to learn what it means to have the responsibility of power.

I love the art style, I love the story, and I love almost 99% of the characters (true fans will know who is in that 1% category of hatred). The only thing that doesn’t super work in the English manga is “Deku”. The insulting nickname means “useless” or “someone who can’t do or achieve anything”, and is a cruel play on the kanji for Izuku. The explanation is there but yeah… not the easiest play on words to translate because English works so differently from Japanese. Regardless of that, the volume really draws back to Big 3 manga* in terms of an introductory volume and it honestly makes me happy. We don’t get these huge cast, long-running series any more and the part of me from high school that is still alive, is so nostalgic for it. BNHA isn’t trying to be something it’s not, but it’s nostalgic and heartwarming as well as full of intense action sequences.

It’s hard to separate the manga from the anime for this review, but I enjoy both and recommend both. This is a great series for fans new and old and is definitely a title to recommend for younger manga readers as well. It’s rated T, but so was Naruto and I will recommend that until the day I die.

Definitely 5 out of 5 for this one.


* Big 3 titles are the three most well known and popular titles in the genre and are Naruto, Bleach, and One Piece

REVIEW: The Bromance Book Club

From the moment I saw the title, I knew this was a romance novel that I needed in my life. The title? Flawless. The concept? Hysterical. The cover? Gorgeous. From top to bottom I wanted this book so badly, which meant I went into it with ridiculously high expectations. Especially with the opinions of friends and it being a BaeCrate selection, Lyssa Kay Adams – a new to me author – had a lot to live up to.

So after devouring it in a week was it everything I hoped and dreamed of? Absolutely.

For those unfamiliar with the book, The Bromance Book Club follows Gavin and his wife Thea after they struggle to hold their marriage together after a large fight. Gavin feels horrible about his behaviour and wants to do everything and anything he can to keep Thea and their daughters in his life, but Thea is seeing the fight as a line in the sand and wants a divorce. When Gavin’s teammates hear how bad things are, the pull him into their secret book club, using romance novels to teach him how to not be a dick and think about what Thea wants.

The book is written in third person but still jumps between what’s going on in Gavin’s head and what’s going on in Thea’s head. It’s a quick read because of how it sucks you in, making you laugh while also pulling at your heart when things get rough. It’s not a tear-jerker but it does get real about how our parents’ relationships can cause long lasting trauma that affect our own. Of course then it’ll turn right around with a shenanigan or two that will have you laughing your head off.

This was the kind of romance novel I live for and I’m so excited about book two. Given how much I loved everyone (seriously, every last character is wonderfully written and feels so alive) I can’t wait to read about them again!


Did you know I’m also a BaeCrate rep? April boxes are on sale now and you can get a 5% discount if you use the code Lucien5 at check out!

MANGA MONDAY: The Promised Neverland #1

Thank you to NetGalley and VIZ Media for providing me with a review copy.


The Promised Neverland is one of those series that looks super cute but you can just tell that it is going to get really messed up, really quickly. I’ve got to say, I was not wrong with my prediction of this one.

The story mainly follows Emma and her friends, Norman and Ray, at their picture perfect little foster home where they and about thirty other children are being taken care of by a woman named Isabelle (but they all call her mom). The children do daily tests of intelligence and treat one another like they’re all family, and every two months one of the children is lucky enough to be adopted and gets to leave the house by way of the gate that the children are forbidden from getting close to. The only other rule is that they aren’t to cross the fence line in the forest that surrounds them. When one of the children being adopted, forgets her favourite plush rabbit, Emma and Norman learn the dark secret being kept from them…

While this first volume didn’t go too deeply into the horror that I’m sure is to come the further I read into the series, it definitely did a good job at setting up the tone of what’s to come next. I loved the heart in the story, though, and the way it captured the innocence and love shared between children while also keeping the advanced intelligence of Emma, Norman, and Ray still within believable range. The art work is very stylistic and cute, with all of the children having the most squishable little baby faces.

With the way this volume ended, I’m intrigued enough to keep going and giving a better judgement of the series off of subsequent volumes. But over all I thought this was a really great way to start a series like this, especially with the artwork being so cute only to get all murder-y. A solid four out of five.

In Which I Read Too Far Into DOCILE

This post contains spoilers for K.M. Szpara’s book, Docile, and may also contain trigger warnings for gender dysphoria, self-harm, suicidal ideation, and sexual assault.


In January, I was lucky enough to receive an ARC for what was probably my most anticipated release of 2020 (not including Murderbot). Pitched on GoodReads as a gay Handmaid’s Tale and written by an openly trans author, this was a book I’ve been thinking about for the better part of a year. When I finally did read it, I was taken aback by how hard it hit so many intense feelings that I spend most of my waking hours repressing into the void I  pretend doesn’t exist.

The novel tackles issues with consent and the abuse the lower classes face at the hands of the ultra-rich, even if it isn’t 100% directly so. The class system will always be the cause of a lot of hardships and this book takes it to the extreme by forcing debt on generations of families and crippling them entirely with it, while those without debt flaunt their money and buy the poor for their own entertainment. Debtors are faced with an ultimatum that isn’t really a real choice as they are forced to pick between servitude and prison. It’s a false choice. No one would want to have their entire family imprisoned when the option to sell themselves for some financial relief is an option.

I, myself, have student debt that isn’t going anywhere any time soon. The weight of it constantly dangling over my head is unbearable at times. The fear of this trickle-down debt accumulation feels very real in the current climate of the world, which made the anxiety of thinking about this very intense. Paying and paying and paying without getting anywhere is an awful feeling especially when the job market is the way that it is. Especially when hobbies feel like time wasters unless they can be monetized. And yet this is only a fraction of the weight Elisha must feel where the debt his family carries is in the millions.

But what hits me the hardest is how Elisha manages being a Docile. The dependency he develops on Alex and how he struggles to face his family after only six months as one.

After spending months learning how to anticipate Alex’s needs and going through tutoring to learn everything from cooking to art history to music, Elisha feels that despite his status as a Docile, he is becoming a better version of himself. At long last, he is able to learn all of the things he longed to but was never able to out in the middle of nowhere and crippled by debt. The relationship he shares with Alex borders on abusive, to say the least. Elisha was essentially forced into signing the consent waiver that allows Alex to have his way with him sexually, and he has no real choice but to allow Alex to shape and mould him into whatever person he desires. But Elisha doesn’t really see any harm, not when he begins to enjoy his plush life with Alex and all of the things that come with having money.

But when Elisha goes home for his state-mandated family visit, his family is far from receptive. Because of his mother’s long-lasting struggle under the effects of Dociline, the drug that turns people into obedient drones, Elisha’s loved ones struggle with what they see in the young man they thought they knew. To them, Elisha is a doll. He isn’t a person as his obedience comes across as robotic, as his new likes and knowledge make him better than the rest of them.

The scenes where Elisha was back home, both his weekend visit and his later abandonment at the farm, were so difficult to read. The more I thought about why these moments upset me, the harder it got to breathe. And then the anxiety attack hit me. What I was reading were reactions I was – and still am – facing in regards to coming out as trans. The feeling that I was finally being my true self, snatched away by people who didn’t understand and who didn’t want to accept the changes. The backhandedness of being “tolerated” but put down in the same sentences. Elisha’s family still loved him, but they othered him, they pushed away his feelings and dismissed him as no longer the man they actually loved. When Elisha can’t stand it anymore, when he can’t bring himself to live with those who were brushing him aside and wants to fade away, I felt that. I knew exactly what he was fighting. The idea that it would be easier to not exist at all instead of simply being tolerated or “put up with” set my nerves on fire. In that moment, I wanted to fade away with Elisha.

It also echoed my own experiences with abuse in a relationship, the longing and the wanting to please the person who you aren’t even sure you really love simply because as long as they’re happy, you’re not hurting. These things made this book so difficult to read at times but Szpara just knows how to put it, how to say these things that encourage you to keep going, keep reading until the end. That you can open your eyes after taking a deep breath, and you’ll have the courage to move on.

But Elisha gives me the hope that I might have the courage to move on, to keep going and know that I’m living my life to me and as long as I don’t forget who I am, changing and growing won’t cause me to lose myself. He stumbles, he falls hard, he hurts so badly and yet he’s still able to keep going.

I’m afraid of saying more and letting this “article” get out of hand, but this book touched me in more ways than I was expecting it to. I cherish it more than I was expecting to. Perhaps I did, in fact, read way too much into things with Docile, but this is an example of what a book can mean to a person and for that, I can do little else but say thank you to K.M. Szpara for telling this story and to Tor for publishing it. I hope everyone involved knows how loved this book is. At least by me.