REVIEW: The Dreamers

Originally published as The Holy Innocents, Gilbert Adair’s novel was re-released as an updated edition after he had the chance to write the screenplay for the 2003 film, The Dreamers based on his work. I was so happy to get my hands on a copy of the re-released The Dreamers novel and was not disappointed.

This book came on my radar while I was revisiting the history of people running through the Louvre. I was familiar with the film (though I have not seen it save for the running scene) because of my love for actor Michael Pitt, but once I found out it was a book I was determined to get my hands on a copy. The day my copy of The Dreamers arrived, I was over the moon. And then proceeded to read the entire book in a day.

The novel follows twins Isabelle and Theo as they welcome American student Matthew into their tight little circle of obsessive French cinema worship. As their friendship grows, Matthew learns of the debauched relationship between the twins and is welcomed into their way of life. As the three are left to their own devices, secluded alone in the twins’ apartment, they lose all sense of the world around them and the only world that exists is the one inside the flat. Meanwhile, the riots of May ’68 are grasping the nation, creating a huge contrast between the two ways of life.

While I know this book is problematic by the standards of many, it was exactly what I was hoping it would be and was absolutely magical in the way Adair manages to create such an intense relationship and make the isolation of the trio feel natural. The style and flow of the writing was so beautiful and hypnotizing, I absolutely adored it from cover to cover. The Dreamers was exactly what I had hoped it was going to be and it was such a breath of fresh air after struggling through the book I had finished prior to starting this one.

In all honestly, the only part that grated on me was whenever French New Wave director, Jean-Luc Godard, was mentioned. As a film grad, I had to watch Breathless (1960) every damn semester and I hate it so much. Considering this isn’t even an issue with the book (and me mentioning it is literally a joke to any of my fellow grads who feel my pain about that stupid movie), I couldn’t have asked for anything more from this book.

Adair’s books seem to be mostly out of print these days, but I look forward to tracking down his other novels because I am obsessed with his style of writing.

REVIEW: A Little Life [ part one* ]

This month I decided to tackle one of the bigger books on my shelves. At 800-ish pages, Hanya Yanagihara’s A Little Life seemed like what I wanted. Contemporary, set in New York, I heard it was gay and came highly recommended by someone I was close to.

But then I got 400-ish pages in and was in such a horrible mental state because of it, it’s not even funny. This is not a fun book. If anything, it’s a horrible book. So to start off this review, let’s get to the list of trigger/content warnings, shall we?

This book contains:

  • child abuse
  • sexual assault of a child
  • child abandonment (a baby literally in a dumpster)
  • child death
  • sexual assault
  • domestic abuse (that has the potential to lead to a possible murder)
  • gross dismissal of chronic pain
  • gaslighting
  • manipulation
  • graphic depictions of self-harm
  • suicidal ideation with mild intent
  • drug abuse

And that’s just the part of the book that I managed to get through.

As someone who is constantly battled chronic depression, this book actively made me want to jump in front of a train. Things only get worse and worse as the story progresses, even when you think things might turn around, the punch in the stomach is only a few paragraphs down the page.

The story itself follows four friends – JB, Jude, Willem, and Malcolm – in New York as they navigate their lives as artists, actors, lawyers, architects. Moving from post-college life into the real world is a struggle as they all fight for dream jobs with terrible pay and discover routes to where they feel their purpose is. Bouncing around in time, the narrative goes over the histories of each of them, talking about their privileged to not-so-privileged to terrible lives before they met each other.

The sad thing about this book is that all of the friends are incredibly likeable, even when they’re making asses of themselves (cough, JB, cough cough). Their histories really make you want to keep reading and find out what happened to them just as much as wanting to know where they’re all headed. It’s so beautifully prose-y and I absolutely adore the way with words that Yanagihara has, but I just couldn’t continue after the half-way mark of this book.

But this book very quickly reached torture porn levels of terrible as one of the characters gets sucked into a beyond incredibly abusive relationship. The character in question doesn’t believe he deserves a truly rewarding relationship and allows the most gruesome things to happen to him. After something of a “cliffhanger” of a chapter at what I hope was the climax of the abuse, I had to stop reading. I couldn’t take it anymore. A Little Life is literally like walking down stairs coated in broken glass barefoot into the vast depths of hell with no end or light or hope in sight.

This is not a book to read if you have any kind of major depressive issues.

I would not recommend this book to a single human being.

Ever.


* I’ve marked this as “part one” in case I do decide to go back to this book at a later date in order to try and finish it

 

RELEASE BLITZ: Machiavellian

Happy birthday, Mac!!

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Today is a big day for author Bella Di Corte, as she releases this incredible story to the world! Machiavellian is the first book in the Gangsters of New York trilogy and it is a book that will steal your heart with every chapter. Full of pain, love, and the importance of deep connections, Machiavellian is a story you won’t want to miss out on.

I was lucky enough to receive an advanced digital copy of this book so I could participate in the blog blitz for release day and I honestly didn’t think I would fall so deeply in love with it as I did. When it comes to romance novels, they are pure escapism for me and I grew up laughing at them before I started to appreciate the stories they were telling. My guilty pleasure, above all else, has always been mafia-based romance. I saw the word “mafia” and jumped right on being a part of this blitz, and wow am I so happy I did.

I’ve included a full description of the book at the bottom of this post, but the gist for this top-half review is this: Mariposa has been running away from pain her whole life, always just shy of absolute suffering on the rough streets of New York. Her trauma weighs heavily on her when it comes for asking for help, which means she doesn’t. But when things reach an absolute peak of unbearable, she ends up in the arms of Capo Machiavellio, a reclusive gazillionaire with more than intimidating connections to the dark underbelly of the city. As the two work circles around each other to get to the core of who they are and their connections to each other, there are other wolves on the prowl that threaten to take away all that they have and more.

When I first started reading this story, I went in with My Fair Lady vibes where a rich man takes a rag of a girl and makes her into something beautiful, but the story of Capo and Mari is so far from that. To break them down a little as people, Mari is the kind of take-no-shit woman who has been dealt hand after hand of shitty cards. She has fought for every last thing that she owns – even if she doesn’t own that much – and is determined to survive by the very skin of her fingernails. But despite all she has been through, Mari is not a cutthroat person. She is still kind herself, thinking of others before herself (to a fault in some cases), and still enjoying the little things in her life such as colouring her anxieties away in children’s colouring books. On the other side of the coin, we have Capo. Capo has literally been put through hell at the hands of his own family and it has made him hard, cruel, and vengeful. He is a rough man who had what he wanted torn from his hands and now he is demanding it back, no matter what it takes. However, Capo is not just a ruthless prick. There is warmth deep within him and he fights hard because he wants to protect those who have more warmth than he feels he is capable of himself. He walks a fine line in the jerk category, but is very good about not crossing it.

The way the relationship builds between Capo and Mari, and the way they tug each other back and forth, finding buttons that shouldn’t be pushed but pushing them anyway, is so wonderful. Written in dual first-person perspectives between the two of them lets us into their minds and allows us to see the reasons behind their actions, even the stupid actions. It’s a beautiful back and forth that stole my heart on several steamy occasions.

Ripe with intense mafia action that is edge-of-your-seat stressful, it’s funny that my favourite part of the book is a quiet moment. No spoilers, I promise. As Capo’s family in Italy slowly comes into the picture, we get to meet his grandfather. All of the moments with Nonno are so picturesque and in these current moments of unrest, made me cry. To make things personal for a moment, at this time I am unable to see my 98-year-old grandmother as visitors are not permitted in her retirement home (understandably so). The moments where Mari gets to talk with Nonno and connect with him, on top of the moments where Capo gets to be a little less hard with his grandfather… They both made me miss my grandmother so much while also reminded me to cherish every memory I have with her until I can see her again. In a book that gets pretty rough, pretty quick, the soft moments felt like home and I applaud Bella Di Corte for truly capturing these moments.

I could honestly go on and on and on forever about how I was touched by this book but then, I think, it would almost be shorter to read the book itself. I was honestly not expecting to love this book as much as I do and I’ve been dying to post this review for over a week now. The violence is just as real as the love and if you love mafia stories but are looking for something new and fresh, I implore you to buy this book. Let Capo steal your heart just as much as Mari does. And then send me an email so I can have more people to yell about it with, haha!

I know that Mac is only just on shelves today, but I’m already itching for book two. Let’s hear it for Gangsters of New York!


Machiavellian_Ebook_Amazon

 

 

Title: Machiavellian (Gangsters of New York, Book 1)
Author: Bella Di Corte
Genre: Mafia Romance
Release Date: May 8, 2020
Hosted by:
Buoni Amici Press, LLC.

Add on GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/51802347-machiavellian
Buy on Amazon:
https://amzn.to/2xZQHvd

Book Description:

Machiavellian is the first of three books set in the savage world of the Gangsters of New York series. 

I hungered to be seen.
There were three things I knew about Capo Macchiavello:
He was gorgeous.
He was reclusive.
He was considered one of New York’s most savage animals.
And he wanted me as his wife. A simple arrangement – you do for me, I do for you. Nothing owed, no expectations. Except for one: never leave.

 Life was never that simple, though. By the age of twenty-one, I was parentless, jobless, and homeless, and I had come to learn the hard way that nothing was ever free. Even kindness comes with strings.

Capo might’ve been the only man to ever see me, but I had made a vow to myself: I would never owe anyone anything. Most of all, the man I called boss.

 I killed to stay hidden.

Mariposa Flores thought she owed nothing to no one, but she owed everything…to me, the ghost the world had once called The Machiavellian Prince of New York. 

About the Author: 

Bella Di Corte has been writing romance for seven years, even longer if you count the stories in her head that were never written down, but she didn’t realize how much she enjoyed writing alphas until recently. Tough guys who walk the line between irredeemable and savable, and the strong women who force them to feel, inspire her to keep putting words to the page.

Apart from writing, Bella loves to spend time with her husband, daughter, and family. She also loves to read, listen to music, cook meals that were passed down to her, and take photographs. She mostly takes pictures of her family (when they let her) and her three crazy dogs.  

Bella grew up in New Orleans, a place she considers a creative playground.

She loves to connect with readers, so don’t hesitate to email her at belladicorte@gmail.com if you’d like to reach out. 

You can also find her:

At Home: http://belladicorte.com
On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BellaDiCorteAuthor
On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/belladicorte
VIP Access: https://www.facebook.com/groups/BellaDiCortesRoseRoom

Follow:
On Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2UsKj89
On Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/belladicorte/
On Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B085949YN9
On Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/belladicorte
On BookBub: https://www.bookbub.com/authors/bella-di-corte

Facing the Mind Killer: a review of DUNE

As I previously wrote, this month I decided to tackle a book that I’ve been afraid of reading for as long as I can remember, Frank Herbert’s DUNE.

It took me a week to get through it and I reveled in every page. It’s taken me longer to get to this review because I wasn’t sure how to go about it. There is so much to this book that I haven’t been able to find in any other book I’ve read or loved. It has set a new standard for epic fiction and I don’t think I’ll be able to find in anything else what I found in DUNE.

The story is Paul’s, though it strongly features the goings on that surround him and dictate his every action. The long and short of it is that the Great Houses are warring over the spice planet known as Arrakis. Spice is highly addictive and mind-altering natural drug that can only be found on this one planet, making it worth more than worth it’s weight in profits. Along with this political turmoil, there is religious turmoil as a group of women known as the Bene Gesserit see a male of legend capable of the “witchery” that they are. But in their search, the Freeman of Arrakis have their own legend of this same person. Paul is believed to be this man of legend by more than one group of people and he needs to fight not only in this war for the planet, but the war inside of him as he discovers what his true destiny is… or if he even wants it.

The way the book is written, third person narrative, we get to see inside of everyone’s head. We know what Paul is thinking at the exact same time we learn what his mother is thinking in the same moment. For too long the “single character” POV, as made popular by George R.R. Martin in the A Song of Ice and Fire series, has been the way of writing genre fiction and I’m going to be honest: I hate it. It adds nothing to the stories and creates moments of boredom if there’s an unlikeable character. Herbert’s way of putting all of the cards on the table makes the chess match of the politics game within the book not only more manageable, but creates some incredible tension. We, as the readers, know who is double crossing who, but the characters themselves do not. The screaming match I had with this book over Duke Leto is laughable because of how invested this way of story telling got me. 

The ideas behind tackling the mind and conquering emotions through strict mental training were fascinating and I really got a lot of insight into myself because of it. Fear is the mind killer, as Jessica says. 

As thrilled as I am at how much I loved this story, I will be honest and say that my fears are now directed at the new movie. I’ll keep my opinions to myself on that matter until we have a trailer, so stay tuned, but I do also plan on reading the rest of the series within the coming months, so stay tuned.

REVIEW: The Love Song of Sawyer Bell

Given the state of the world right now, I wanted to do what I could when I was still working to support small businesses. Seeing that The Ripped Bodice was putting together care packages of books and goodies for customers even in Canada, I jumped on it (and you can see my full unboxing here) immediately.

One of the books in the box was a queer f/f romance by Avon Gale called The Love Song of Sawyer Bell. It followed Vix and Sawyer as they toured cross-country with Vix’s band and navigated the complexity of being in the professional music business while being in a relationship. Not to mention Sawyer has only recently put the pieces together that she’s a lesbian. Jealousy, queer educating, and more ensue in this incredible love story.

I devoured this book in 24 hours (less if you subtract the breaks I took to like…eat) and have never loved a romance novel more while also feeling so personally attacked by one. Sawyer is a senior in Julliard and is miserable there. The stress and the pressure is too much, hence her desire to “run away” with Vix’s band for the summer. Her feelings about school are so close to my own experiences in college that I wish that I had read this in my first year. It may have given me the courage to walk away. For me, film school was great in the sense that it made me a better writer and a better photographer, but it destroyed my mental health and general self-worth, and even now I wonder if what I gained is worth how much I lost. I stuck to it though and graduated, but not for me. I stuck to it to try and prove I hadn’t let the pressure or the drama get to me, and that’s not a reason to fork over $30k in tuition fees.

Sawyer is such a real character and I fell for her instantly. Vix, as well. Vix’s demeanour, her temperament, and her drive are all so magically dimensional. Her struggles with commitment and the fear of failure are real and wonderfully described. Even when the tension comes between her and Sawyer, the issues feel like more than “mandatory romance novel plot points”.

I can’t thank the team at The Ripped Bodice enough for this book and I am desperate for the sequel to be re-released by Carina Press. Because to say I need the second book now is an understatement.

If you’re looking for a wonderful, sexy, beautiful book featuring queer ladies and rock music, I implore you to pick this one up. You won’t be sorry.

REVIEW: The Last Wish

I’m sure everyone has heard of The Witcher series from the Netflix adaptation that came out recently, or else you know it from the video games. While more and more people tell me they love the books, I fell into the category of knowing it from the video games and being only vaguely aware of the books.

Given the Netflix series, the first book was on sale a while back so I figured, what the hell. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed it.

The Last Wish is a collection of short stories and a novella, originally publishing in Poland as all separate stories, before being collected and spliced together to form this book. I really appreciated this set up as the stories were stand-alone while also flowing nicely into one another. Given that so many fantasy novels are 400 – 800+ page epics, I really liked how not-intimidating this book was. There was no major commitment to remembering everyone or trying to learn maps, and the stories were all at a length where things kept moving. A handful of them are vague fairytale retellings, and the Beauty and the Beast short was by far my favourite, taking things in a direction that was so new for a retelling of this kind and then breaking my heart.

For those who want a little more context about The Witcher, the series follows Geralt of Rivia, a Witcher, as he travels across the world fighting monsters and helping people who have the coin. However, he isn’t a cold-blooded person and will do what is right if he feels it is truly the right thing to do. Geralt isn’t always a welcome sight, though, as a Witcher is someone who has undergone rigorous training, poisoning, and mutation to become more than human. Many see him as a ruthless demon and others lock themselves away in fear, thinking their children will be taken to go through what Geralt has been through.

I’m sure there will be more information regarding that in the other books (my knowledge of it comes from playing Witcher 3 on Switch and they don’t go into much depth about the transformation process) and I look forward to reading more in the second collection of short stories.


The reading order was screwed up in translation so for those who are interested in reading the books, here is a guide:

  1. The Last Wish
  2. Sword of Destiny
  3. Season of Storms
  4. Blood of the Elves
  5. Time of Contempt
  6. Baptism of Fire
  7. The Tower of the Swallow
  8. The Lady of the Lake

Why I’m Afraid of DUNE

One of the greatest science fiction series of all times is Frank Herbert’s, Dune. Six books in the saga and they’re still timeless through the intense political and religious commentary as well as the unforgettable world building.

Everything about Dune has my name written all over it.

So why am I afraid of it?

As a kid, there was a “rule” in my house, and that rule was “There is no such thing as a Dune movie”. It was a running joke as I got older that included an irrational dislike of David Lynch (who I’m still not a fan of) and legitimately telling people I didn’t believe them when they mentioned the 1984 adaptation that featured Sting (yes, the singer) in one of the main roles. That alone made it pretty easy to say I didn’t believe people.

What did exist were the first six books by Frank Herbert and the 2000 miniseries (that starred Alec Newman as Paul), nothing more. I have the vaguest of memories of watching the miniseries and having a huge crush on Paul, but I’ve never read the books, and if you asked me the plot I couldn’t tell you.

To this day I can give you three facts about the series. 1) Paul is the main character, 2) There are giant, phallic-looking sandworms that eat people, and 3) there’s something going on with spice.

So again, you’re probably still wondering why I’m afraid of reading this series.

If I didn’t make it clear enough, this series has been a huge part of my childhood even if I know little about it. My mom is a huge Dune fan and I admire the original books so much and how they shaped my mom’s love of science-fiction, therefore shaping my love of science-fiction. Because of all of that, I’ve always been afraid I’ll miss something, that the allegories and metaphors will go over my head, or – even worse – that I won’t like it.

Is all of this completely silly? Absolutely. But this is the struggle of an avid reader with high expectations and crippling anxiety.

Either way I’m going in. Stay tuned to more thoughts.

REVIEW: The Bromance Book Club

From the moment I saw the title, I knew this was a romance novel that I needed in my life. The title? Flawless. The concept? Hysterical. The cover? Gorgeous. From top to bottom I wanted this book so badly, which meant I went into it with ridiculously high expectations. Especially with the opinions of friends and it being a BaeCrate selection, Lyssa Kay Adams – a new to me author – had a lot to live up to.

So after devouring it in a week was it everything I hoped and dreamed of? Absolutely.

For those unfamiliar with the book, The Bromance Book Club follows Gavin and his wife Thea after they struggle to hold their marriage together after a large fight. Gavin feels horrible about his behaviour and wants to do everything and anything he can to keep Thea and their daughters in his life, but Thea is seeing the fight as a line in the sand and wants a divorce. When Gavin’s teammates hear how bad things are, the pull him into their secret book club, using romance novels to teach him how to not be a dick and think about what Thea wants.

The book is written in third person but still jumps between what’s going on in Gavin’s head and what’s going on in Thea’s head. It’s a quick read because of how it sucks you in, making you laugh while also pulling at your heart when things get rough. It’s not a tear-jerker but it does get real about how our parents’ relationships can cause long lasting trauma that affect our own. Of course then it’ll turn right around with a shenanigan or two that will have you laughing your head off.

This was the kind of romance novel I live for and I’m so excited about book two. Given how much I loved everyone (seriously, every last character is wonderfully written and feels so alive) I can’t wait to read about them again!


Did you know I’m also a BaeCrate rep? April boxes are on sale now and you can get a 5% discount if you use the code Lucien5 at check out!

REVIEW: Station Eleven

After being left in the worst reading slump I’ve dealt with for a while, I went to a local independent book shop and asked for recommendations. The clerk suggested I pick up Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel, especially since I expressed my interest in her upcoming release, The Glass Hotel. I’ve got to say, I’m glad I listened to the clerk.

Station Eleven is a dystopian novel about what happens to the past – to things like music and books and Shakespeare – when the world ends. It follows several characters across time, jumping back and forth to the before and the after of the virus that wiped out most of the world, and how they are living on in the new world.

Given all of the fear surrounding COVID-19, I can’t help but laugh at my timing in reading this book. But this isn’t The Stand or The Walking Dead or even The Day After Tomorrow. This is honestly a story about humanity as it readjusts and relearns how to survive along with how the people keep going when simply surviving isn’t enough. It is a book about art and community and sharing glimmers of something else in a world so isolated and cut off from everything. It’s about the dedication of preserving the past while also not allowing each other to wallow or dwell on the things that were lost, keeping the past alive as a means of education.

I really enjoyed that this wasn’t a hopeless, depressing novel of the end of the world. There was hope as well as fear, but the fear didn’t reach absurd levels. There is a cult that causes several issues throughout the novel, a scary group of doomsday religious zealots, and I had concerns about several kinds of assault dominating the text, but am pleased to say that didn’t happen. The Prophet and his group were enough to create tension and anxiety, but Mandel clearly knew where the line was. The group furthered the plot without creating unnecessary violence.

Around the three-quarter mark, things slowed down more than I would have liked but I’m really glad I pushed through it. It’s a book I would definitely recommend if you’re in the mood for a more literary dystopian novel.

REVIEW: The Starless Sea

The only book I really managed to read cover to cover within the month of February was Erin Morgenstern’s novel, The Starless Sea. Having gone to see her book tour event in Toronto a few months back, I found it was the time to get to this at long last.

This book is so hard to sum up my feelings for. I’ve tried again and again to write this review but the words I need just won’t come to me. I saw myself so much in Zachary and in Dorian and in so many others. The way the story unravels slowly and twists back on itself time and time again, it’s like trying to explain the plot of Inception in a language you don’t even understand. It’s not nearly as complicated when you read it for yourself but to explain it… Yeah, I don’t think I can do that.

The Starless Sea is a love letter, a light in the dark, a saving grace, to anyone who loves to get lost in something away from themselves. It’s a reminder that it’s okay and you’re not alone as well as a reminder of the good things in the world around us, the untold stories that pass us by every single day. This book punches you in the stomach to remind you of reality before patting you on the head and reminding you how wonderful you are.

“Important things hurt sometimes,” is a quote in the book that hit me so hard I was reeling from it and it’s only one of the many, many lines in the book that brought me to tears. And I wouldn’t exactly say that this is a sad book.

The magic of reading radiates from every page of The Starless Sea and I’ve been struggling to find a new book to read ever since I finished it.

I don’t think this review makes any sense whatsoever, but it has been a long time since I book has taken my breath away the way that this one did. I’m not one of those people who ever thinks, “I wish I could go back and read this for the first time” but this book has changed that. I wish I could experience this book for the first time every time I pick it up, because I know I will be picking this up again and trying everything I can to make it come to life around me the way it did when I was reading it this first time.